Why do you suppose there are so many single people? Almost every single person I know would like to have a relationship with another single person. Are we that picky that we can’t find positive qualities in people to like and be drawn to?
I don’t believe in love at first sight. Lust…yes, but not love! I’ve seen quite a few beautiful male bodies. Usually, when I see one, I just appreciate the beauty of the form and don’t even consider going beyond admiring. What makes a person attractive to another person, so they want to want to change the form on their W4 from single to married?
Beliefs: The single most important factor for a relationship. Spiritual beliefs define how we live our life and who we live our life to serve. Mismatched beliefs won’t make for a lasting relationship. It will be a lopsided relationship and resentment will boil over eventually. It’s like a see-saw with two different sizes of people on it. One is always up in the air and the other never gets off the ground. I’m looking for a person to balance me out. I want to go both down and up and know that I’ll both have the sky and the ground to deal with.
Strength of character: This is an enormous consideration for me. I have to know that I can count on that person to stand strong in the face of tough times and happy times. I don’t want a person who gets scared or angry and takes the easy way out of a relationship. I want to know that the person is committed to me. A person who keeps his vows and doesn’t break them. I want a person who is trustworthy.
Values self: I’m not talking conceit, but someone who knows his own self worth. I believe in order to love another, you have to love yourself. I’m not talking perfect because no one is, but someone without a critical spirit of self, so that he doesn’t have a critical spirit with me. Someone who has invested time in not only his education and job, but in his relationships with other people also.
Integrity: A person who tells the truth and has self control. A person who hasn’t been promiscuous in his past relationships. A person that will put others above himself and whose not afraid to stand up for his beliefs.
Sense of humor: Another huge consideration. I need someone who will laugh with me. Someone that doesn’t take life too seriously and can handle the stresses of life without being dramatic. Someone that can see the positive in situations and in people.
Security: I need someone I can count on to help handle life’s ups and downs. I need financial security to be added with mine. I’ve been saving for the future and it’s important to me to have someone to join me that is financially steady. I need the security of being able to turn to him for emotional security also. Someone who will stand beside me through life. I guess this goes back to strength of character.
Shows love and affection: I’m not just talking physical love, but that is important to me. I both want and need touch and intimacy. To me, as I’m sure with all women, the physical act is tied so much to the mental loving. Love is an intentional act of putting the other person above yourself. It can be shown through helping around the house, special notes or calls, or a simple kiss, being held in his arms, holding hands, or a smile across a room. It’s the connection of our souls with one another through the bonding of our bodies. I don’t believe God created us for promiscuity, but to wait for the unity of marriage.
Expectation are high and I know there is another single person out there who shares my expectations. I guess that’s why so many women like reading the book of Ruth. Somewhere our Boaz awaits.
Now as I revisit the question why are there so many single people looking for relationships? I suppose I have the answer. Some people have settled for ‘a someone’ rather than ‘the someone’ and then doubt and suspicion crept in and then trust is lost. Then we look at each other with critical eyes and judge with our critical minds. Other’s are waiting for ‘the person’ that God has in mind for them.
I have been loved and valued by a special person and I don’t want to settle for anything less than than that for my future. Now, if only my new Boaz would step forth. I’ll gladly uncover your feet and lay down beside them. I’m waiting for you to wake up and notice me, but until then I’ll continue to go out and gather the grain until you step forth and make your intentions known.
I’m working on becoming a better person myself and become the person God wants me to be.