The weather forecast today called for a cool front to come in. Occasionally, I’d open the back door or look at the thermometer and see if the red line had gone down in response to the change. Checking once again, I opened the door, the heat of the day had changed into the promised coolness. I couldn’t wait to get outside and sit in the first real day of autumn weather. I’m sure that we’ll have many more days of heat before fall settles in, but this evening the promise of the changing weather came through. It made me think of the how we wait on the changes that happen in our life. Some we want and anticipate and others we try with all our might to hold back.
The aging of my parents is one of those things that I wish I could stop, but our bodies weren’t made to last forever. We are fragile beings. Today, my dad was hospitalized with a touch of pneumonia and dehydration. He’s eighty and I know that his time on this earth is limited. I remember when I was a young girl. I used to love to come get in bed with my parents and dad would lay me on his chest and I’d snuggle into his warmth. I’m not for sure when my dad got so old. It seemed like it happened in a blink of an eye. It must have happened when I wasn’t watching. It’s difficult to be a spectator of a loved one’s body failing. I know how hard it is for my mom to watch him slowly fade away.
A few weeks ago, Cameron came home from college and spent the weekend with me. Although, he’s my baby, he’s not a young boy anymore. He’s become a man. I can’t be sad that he’s grown up. That’s the goal of all parents. To raise your child, so they become adults with all the values and standards that you raised them with. I used to tell Cam when I dropped him off somewhere or when he left the house to ‘Remember whose child you are.’ I didn’t mean John and mine, but God’s.
He could practically recite everything I was going to say to him from memory because I repeated it so often. I’d tell him mom’s felt better saying it, so they wouldn’t worry even though I know he knew everything that I was going to say. I believe we did a good job raising him. The responsibilities that he has dealt with his health issues made him mature early in his life. Although he’s not keeping God as his focus as much as I would prefer, he still knows whose child he is. The loss of his dad at seventeen was a difficult time. I’m happy that he had John as a role model for that long in his life. I’m proud of the man that he is and the man that he will continue to grow into. I do look forward to seeing the seasons of his life that he still has ahead of him.
Changes in relationships are sometimes exciting and some are changes you wish would happen. I fell in love with my friend, John, and it turned out to be one of the most rewarding transformation of our lives.
This month I have been missing a new male friend that moved away. I hope that I meant more to him, but no matter how I wish a change would happen I can’t alter a person’s heart to be what I want it to be. It’s up to me how I do handle my own emotions in relation to that. I choose to not take it as a personal rejection. Although that’s the way it feels right now. I believe this person simply isn’t ready to step into the role I would like him to become. I don’t know the plans that God has for both our lives. I simply have to accept that God is in control and it’s not for me to tell God how to plan my life.
Like the weather, we can only wait and see what develops. The highs and lows of life sweep through our lives causing change. Sometimes, the rain falls in gentle drops where we are thankful of its freshness. Other times, thunderstorms and lightning grabs our attention. I’m drawn to their terrific beauty. I’m in awe of their power and the amazing turmoil that comes with the rain, lightning, and the blowing wind. After the storm there’s serenity and peace.
We can welcome the change of temperature as the seasons change from summer to fall, and fall to winter, and winter to spring. The tranquility of the changing seasons are expected and consistent.
The breathless beauty of summer; when the days seem endless with the bright blue skies, heat of the air, and the fireflies glow in the warm darkness. To the coolness of fall; when the leaves drop from the trees, scattering to the ground and blowing in the wind. The gray loveliness of winter; when the cold shows itself in our breath and where nature sleeps in preparation for spring. To the budding beauty of spring; with all the colors, birds and butterflies that shout freshness and renewal have come again to our lives.
Change is expected… for nothing remains the same. We should expect that change, and yet, when it does happen it sometimes shocks our system. Hold on to the changes you like and brace yourself for the changes that comes on like a storm. Let God hold you tight in His arms as you face each new day because change is in every second of time. Only in heaven is time eternal.