Whenever I hear that someone’s husband passed away, I almost want to shudder.  I know the path that is ahead of her.  I know the denial and the numbness she’ll feel.  The loneliness and isolation that surrounds her no matter how many people are near.  The brokenness of her heart and the utter sadness that takes hold and makes her feel out of control of her own emotions.

“You keep track of all my sorrows.
  You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
  You have recorded each one in your book.”
~ Psalms 56:8

I want to hold her and tell her that all the firsts are going to be as bad as she can imagine.  The first Christmas, the birthday of her loved one that won’t be there to celebrate and her own birthday that will feel empty.  Their anniversary will be a bittersweet memory of happier times.  Thanksgiving when she doesn’t feel like she has anything to give thanks for, and the first anniversary of his death.

I’d like to tell her that people are going to say stupid things and mean the very best when they say them.    “Only the good die young.”  “God needed another angel in heaven.”  He won’t give you more than you can handle.”  They will ask questions that are none of their business.  “Did he leave you life insurance?”  “How did he die?”  “Were you there?”  “How much did the funeral cost?”  “What are you going to do now?”